GOP aids Kimbrough as stalker threat mounts

Right wing talker and syndication star Derf Kimbrough is so paranoid of stalkers that he's convinced the Republican party to help him stay underground, All The Excess! has learned.
Fearing attacks from people who may or may not exist, Kimbrough has appealed to the GOP to help him secretly move his base of operations each day. When Kimbrough's show leaves the air, a team of bodyguards whisks him away, blindfolds him, and limos the talker to another affiliate station, from which he broadcasts the next day's show.
Kimbrough may not even know where he is when he's on the air, and that's just fine by him, sources say. Reportedly, the Republican National Committee's Kimbrough-moving machine uses similar tactics to the ones employed when the vice president is taken to secret locations at times of national emergency.
Meanwhile, the war of words between Kimbrough and the White House escalated again yesterday, with the talk host calling the President "a pansy on terrorism." The high office responded by labeling Kimbrough a "cesspool of misinformation."