A fascinating career move takes a satellite radio executive and plants him firmly in the administration of President Obama: Barry DeOffelstuff, VP/Creative Statistics for MOFO (Multiple Offerings From Orbit) Satellite Radio will become the nation's new "Facts and Figures Czar."According to a White House statement, DeOffelstuff's "uncanny ability to find a silver lining in a dark cloud of negative numbers" will come in handy as the new F&F Czar deals with statistics like unemployment, inflation, and the gross national product.
DeOffelstuff commented, "Some call it spin control, and that's just wrong. What I do is look at the glass half full, pure and simple. Sometimes it isn't really exactly half full, but it is when you look at it from the right angle. I find those angles and creatively massage the accuracy of statistics to support them in a way that leverages the competency of business and government. My time at MOFO has been one of the most challenging of my career, and I look forward to an even greater challenge at the government level."
DeOffelstuff's responsibilities at MOFO included compiling subscriber numbers and designing innovative strategies in the areas of financing and accounting.
MOFO is actively searching for DeOffelstuff's replacement, saying that the ideal candidate will have a background in progressive mathematics and good communications skills, particularly in "alternative doublespeak" and "fictional reality adaptation." A MOFO spokesperson declined to describe those qualifications in greater detail, but stressed that the opening must be filled before the next quarterly investor's conference call.
