A leading German scientist alleges that Multiple Offerings From Orbit (MOFO) Discount Satellite Radio may be the prime catalyst in a climate cataclysm.Dr. Helmut Hedwig, writing in the Zeitschrift der Wissenschaft und Theorie (Journal of Science and Theory), claims that MOFO is responsible for a major change in the tilt of the earth's axis.
All The Excess! took our best shot at translating the scientist's text: "Spin, the type generated by the relentless MOFO press release jihad, is the culprit. It's enough to skew the planet's axis and thus alter the distance of each hemisphere from the sun at different times of the year. Though the alteration in axis tilt is slight, it doesn't take much to make winters colder and summers hotter. It is my belief that the incessant spin emanating from MOFO headquarters is sufficient to really (screw things up)."
Excessive spin is also likely the cause of the disappearance of four MOFO employees just last week (see related story here).
The technical department at MOFO has not responded to our repeated requests for comment.
